Getting Married Isn’t The Priority: True or False?

“Set your goals high, and don’t stop until you get there.” ~ Bo Jackson

Common sense tells us that marriage isn’t the ‘end goal’, that it is one of the many aspirations that one can have in life. From when you’re born, everybody has their own goals – as a child, as a teenager, and as a young adult; this cycle is continuous. As you hit 18, the age when you’re about to head off to college, that’s a moment to remember – it’s the age of the bright-eyed and the dreamers. I’ve discussed the importance of why you should follow your dreams in a previous blog, however I have a new spin for you in this one.

Getting married should not be the priority in life.

Now hold up before I hear the arguments about how it’s important to have a companion, and that you can’t live your life alone. I would agree that for some people they desire companionship and find that otherwise life can get lonely; however there are people out there who are living their lives by choice alone, and doing just fine. This is not my debate. My concern with our generation is that the the concept of getting married should not be a primary goal – with this need to find ‘The One’. Now, I do believe when you hit a certain age depending on your cultural background you do start to feel the pressure to to get married, whether it’s through family persuasion, by seeing that your friends are getting hitched, or through social media. Nonetheless, as I’d discussed in this blog, social media is never what it seems.

I do believe that people set their goals by what they see on social platforms and what’s surrounding them. I also believe that it’s important to understand and love yourself in order to be able to be in a healthy relationship – but I am open to debate this and do intend to write about it hopefully next month. I also think it’s important to consider that not everyone is set to have the same aspirations in life.

You see, the beauty of being human lies in our differences, and our different abilities to what we want to do and can do.

Let’s say you’re in your 20’s and you’re done with college; how many of you have found that what you’ve studied isn’t actually what you want to work for in your career? The 20’s is the age for conflicting thoughts about everything; not just your career. 

Your 20’s is the era of change.

Change in your values. You see an entire new perspective when you go into college, move away from home and gain independence. You’re out there on your own, exploring the world and what it has to offer you – the good and the bad. When you start working it’s the same thing; you are exposed to a whole new world of a rat race of individuals trying to succeed. It’s also the time period in life where you lose some friends who you thought would be there for you, and you figure out how you deal with your problems alone and come out stronger. Every age is important in this one life of yours, however I  do believe your 20’s is your defining age for who you will be as an individual. What are your thoughts about this?

Considering this, I can now come to the core of this blog. Everybody has their own set of goals. Some people want to genuinely get married and lead a family life. Some people want to travel the world and make money just for that. There are some that want it all. Whatever it is that YOU want, that is totally up to you. If getting married isn’t a priority at a certain age, then so be it! What is with the rush? This concept of an expiry date on a woman or man because of how young and beautiful they are is truly unconventional.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all heard that marriage is not easy; it requires a lot of compromise and adjustment, because at the end of the day you’re living with someone else under the same roof (for the most part) for the rest of your life. So why does the age matter? You’ve got to share the good and the bad, and accept everything about the other person, regardless of this. It really is all about your inner self and personality. For those of you who are married, would you agree with this?

My question to you is: is it selfish to want to pursue your dreams versus settling down?  Or, an even more important question that I could ask is: is it selfish to want to work on yourself to become a well-rounded person – in whatever manner that may be – versus settling down in the sense of marriage, at a young age?

My point is that if we agree that marriage takes a lot of adjustment and compromise, you need to be absolutely sure of the person you’re going to marry. Hence, the priority should be in building yourself up, through your career (if you wish to have one), through your values, and through your experiences. Be it arranged or out of love, making a choice to spend your life with someone has to be an intelligent choice; it’s important to know yourself and what you expect out of your partner. Just because everyone else is getting married around you, doesn’t mean that you have to too. Who are you trying to prove when all you’re going to do is disappoint or hurt yourself in the long-run? Don’t push yourself to get married if you know at heart that you’re not ready to. Remember, marriage ideally is a lifetime commitment, and being pressurised into it – in any manner – can only lead to disaster.

Hence, my question to you dear reader:

Are you marriage-friendly?

If you have any thoughts about the blog, do let me know in the comments section below! Feel like you can relate or it’s an important message? Feel free to share this post. 🙂